Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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