real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
