that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
