Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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