I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
