You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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