I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
