Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
