id be glad to
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
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