I hate all girls vehemently.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
