My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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