bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
