2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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