Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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