I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
