Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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