Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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