obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
