What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
