pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
