How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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