Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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