I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
