saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
