So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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