how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
