He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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