AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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