Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
