guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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