I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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