i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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