Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Semen is not good for contacts.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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