My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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