stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
