he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
