It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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