Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
