is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
