So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
