if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
