am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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