the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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