I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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