You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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