Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
