so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
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last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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