Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
