Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
