so that wasnt chicken after all
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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