sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
