and you said cock pushups were impossible
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize