So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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