I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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