At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
