Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
