get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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