I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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