even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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