You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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