After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
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Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
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The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
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