Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
