Dual....:-)
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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