She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
