why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
