If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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