Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
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After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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