plz talk dirty to me
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
