Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
How's work?
Spinning.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize